|...Going around the White Ponies fur my friend...
||[Feb. 26th, 2010|11:41 pm]
The boy who destroyed the world...
As I get gradually older, I get gradually more regretful. I regret things I've done, things I haven't done. I regret moments I got wrong, and sometimes moments I got right because I didn't make the most of them. I regret relationships I've got wrong because more often than not I could have contributed more and maybe, just maybe, other times I could have contributed less for less eventual pain at the end of it all.
Having now lived with quite a few people, upwards of 15 last time I checked - by lived with I mean genuinely shared a house/flat with for a reasonable period of time - I realise that in most cases people love to surround themselves with photographs. ok, mainly women but some dudes too. photographs of family and friends. Old friends, new friends and then years down the line friends they are yet to meet. Friends to remind them of the good times.
I've never been a photo person. I have a very good imagination and that usually couples with a good memory; I don't need photos to remind me because I can hold individual moments in time within my mind. I don't think it's a photographic memory per se, with me there's more an emotional connection e.g. I remember what song was playing etc.
I believe that I feel music more than the average person. Its hard to explain, few understand it. but I can associate music with moments in time and specific feelings. If I have a bad day, I can listen to certain songs and remember good times - vice versa bad times. e.g. just a day - Feeder. Or, the daddy of them all,Ode to Summer by Lostprophets. So, I don't need photo albums because I remember moments in time and that connection is so much better than looking at a faded photograph.
Al - I remember the connection we have with music, it's irreplacable and it's the over-bearing factor in my life. Think P Roach, think Alexis, think ALL OF THOSE TIMES WE HAVE ROCKED OUT motherfucker - ODE TO SUMMER. Pat - I think THE NIGHT. at least 15 pints (yes probably more!!) when I weigh 61kg is deadly and yes I was absolutely fucked but I remember so much of that night and it was one of the best nights of my life. I think all the stupid nights we have and the stupid conversation but it's so much better than a shitty picture of the two of us could ever show.
you know the one. Where you are posing for a picture of say two of you. It's fake because you are posing, it's not a reflection of the night because you have stopped for the purpose. yes the night might carry on but you have stopped for the photo.
But, I remember MOMENTS and how they FELT.
It's hard to explain but I know what I mean.
Sometimes I wish I had more pictures from the last few years, I do. Because they are nice to look at.
But in terms of a connection, I only need my memory and my soul.
Always All ways and forever.
'Mis heridas me recuerdan que el pasado es real
Mi corazon esta abierto para poder sentir.'